Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Chronic Last Bench Syndrome



They say nostalgia is the uptopia of the old. So may be 28 yrs younger I am already feeling nostalgic. I felt it the day reached home with packed bags after my internship. Well till today I haven’t got over it.    ” I” never existed in college. It was always “we”.
Today sitting in the first seat of a dermatology seminar trying very hard to understand whats being talked about, I was missing that last seat in college lecture hall,if at all I was there. There was something special about that seat. You feel pseudoprotected. That’s a part of the “chronic last bench syndrome” I would say. Most common clinical manifestations would be hypersomnolence, I knew a guy who would sleep before the classes started and wake up just in time for attendance(heh heh that’s not me).
 There are every kind of person in the last benches the artists, Proxy specialists, comedians(or rather jokers),airplane(paper of course) manufaturers, cupids, beauticians, daydreamers,  voracious readers unlike the first benchers anything other than text books(a novel or prob a magazine),and of course the dozers.
   And the best is when you have a group with your best friends which includes a crush, a friend u thot u cud not live without, a funny jackass who would mostly be the dumbest who wud draw the attention of all teachers to your gang, a smartass who never studies like you but can get you out of the small troubles (mostly in the form of questions) by quick prompting. Yes I had a seat in one of these places and 5 years it felt great. I would have slept more in my class rooms because after classes we were a busy lot. And nights were party time.
 And the occasional get outs for getting caught with a novel, for a proxy out of the 5 you called, sleeping(no never for sleeping but not for waking up even when your name is called). But getting out was easy, occasionally as a punishment you would be asked to go to the first bench(a whole new world) where you would need to place bamboo sticks in u r eyes to keep it open, where they would look down on you if you didn’t answer questions and where only intellectual talks takes place.
 But the first bench students r intelligent until last bench students dont participate in the competition. But unfortunately they never do participate. They are the kind of people with no ego, no competition, humble and simple people.  Hear there is an association for us Last Bench association(LBA), I was not a member then and I cant be now(not in last bench anymore)
And mind you we are not last in everything we are the first to initiate a fight or debate,to comment on the person teaching methods, we are the 1 st in movie  queues, and even the first to get out of a class. So we are not total useless.
Heh heh now that’s tooo much
Someday when I teach I would like to know how it feels to do so from the last bench.
“The Greatest Minds of a Nation May be Found on the Last Benches of the Classroom.” - APJ Abdul Kalam

Thursday, December 15, 2011

"Silence is not my mother tounge"


 Yeh its funny when the language you speak the most at your work place is not your mother tounge. Well 6 months into this kannada speaking land, I believe I can get the patients to understand what I speak (my belief) with some sign language, some Malayalam in between.
It took kannada pandits(kannada master) weeks of coaching to actually start speaking this forgein language. For 6 months I have been asking the patients to go and purchase dabba mulam(which in most parts of Karnataka means ointment in a can), but some parts of Karnataka dabba means useless. And actually a patient asked me if its useless why give it? After some translation found the better word was dabbi….
But these mistakes just don’t happen to a person who is just a few months old in Karnataka. It happens to people who have been here for years. The problem is mostly the grammar. Just the other day a patient asked one of the docs in kannada “can I take bath?” and the doc not a kannadiga replied in kannda and it came out as “come lets take bath”.
Well in India if you are in a state different from yours and don’t know their language you can survive with a little hindi. But unfortunately I am too bad in that language too. I was always proud that despite being a south indian I could follow hindi well until this day when my watchman came and told me that mera beta ghuzar gaya(my son paased away)… thinking that he had won something in a very jovial manner I told very nice just to see his eyes welling up and realised I had got it wrong. So I asked him again to know wat had happened. I will never forgive that look on his face and will never forgive myself.
Then of course if you are a good actor, your sign languages and expressions are going to help the patient understand wat u meant. And of course the kanndigas are good people. They know that this language is not my mother tounge and they try their best to make u understand their problems. Yes but the occasional giggles you do get…
No wonder its said that “humans dream in thier mother tounge”… 

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Not a doc anymore

Well I am not a doctor anymore. Heh heh, yes I am a Dermatologist. Yes this is a real fantasy world, doctors here are pleasant, relaxed. Patients are happy. No emergencies. Life has taken a turn for the good?
Well I am in an institute where this dept is considered one of the best in the country. They eat and sleep dermat….walkin with the giants and work with the legends in dermatology…. Its a shear luck!!!!
A popular joke in dermatology is that if its dry add moisture and if its moist keep it dry. Congrats you are a dermatologist.
Contrary to the popular belief dermatology is not that easy. Yeh all we have are just the antifungals, antibacterials, steroids, antihistamines and emollients and most of the time you give one it doesn’t work the other surely will. But diagnosis in dermatology is an art. There are hundreds of DD’s that look the same. It is either the papule, macule or plaque that is mostly present everywhere.
To you what looks like psoriasis might actually be psoriasiform dermatitis.
But neither u need an eagles eye, ladies finger or lions heart to treat a patient. Infact for that matter you don’t even need a stethoscope to treat your patient.
Well in short if you are a person who sees better things in life, and believe that we live it only once, but destiny has made you a doctor, then go for dermatology.
Because a life u dont live is still lost.

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

09 09 09 09 09 09: Novenary


Well its a long time since i have blogged... there was always the desire but it was the time that was lacking.... so i prepared this draft at 09 09 09 09 09 09.
Well publishing at that second didn't work out...
In the field of medicine numbers little significance(SPM dept won't agree) NUMBERS have and continue to attract me. although i believe that there is nothing special or superstitious about numerics but still....

for instance there is something very wrong with the no 317.... which was my cars no in which i had 2 major and 3minor accidents or maybe positively speaking none of us in the car was hurt a single time, although once they were going to claim a total loss for the vehicle....
then it turned out my room no which i got by random selection turned out to be 317 and i had the worst period of my college life during this one year in that room.

No that is not what created a love for numbers in me.

i didnt know before this day that no 9 was associated with forgiveness, compassion and success on the positive side as well as arrogance and self-righteousness on the negative, according to numerologists.

ANd a mail i received says
that the sum of the two-digits resulting from nine multiplied by any other single-digit number will equal nine. So 9x3=27, and 2+7=9.
Multiply nine by any two, three or four-digit number and the sums of those will also break down to nine. For example: 9x62 = 558; 5+5+8=18; 1+8=9.
Sept. 9 also happens to be the 252nd day of the year (2 + 5 +2)... Very true....

Japanese, the word for nine is a homophone for the word for suffering, so the number is considered highly unlucky.

Thais also consider it lucky.

At Buddhist ceremonies such as weddings, 9 monks are often invited.

Accordin to christians 09 09 09 upside down is devils no666... so does it mean that 999, its christs no?????

To hindu mythology 9 is a lucky number.it is the number of hanuman.
IT is also that number nine is closely associated with the process of creation in the cosmic time cycle. The entire cosmic cycle consists of three phases -- creation, preservation and dissolution.Each of these three parts split into triads (3x3=9)
Also they have Nine apertures of the body -- two eyes, two ears, two nostrils, mouth, genitals and anus, nine psychic centres, nine planets, nine divisions of time, nine gems, nine moods or Navrasams and Navratras.


For muslims Ramadan, the month of fasting and prayer, is the ninth month of the Islamic calendar.

And today we have a wednesday and september both havin nine letters each.

holy cow! now thats a lot of crap i am sure.


And i personally am not a very good friend of 9.

Monday, May 26, 2008

Second Life
WEll 5 days to start CRRI, back at hostel, at 08.30pm chattin with some of my friends suddenly we plan a trip the last as a medico, plans a road trip to goa, within 30 min bags are packed.At 9.30pm we start. fuel is full and all set.Its a 20 hr drive people call us krazy but somehow i love such trips. There is nothing that equals an unplanned long distance trip.A good climate cool breeze and low traffic we cover 100km in 2.30hrs ,that was just 10% of what we had to cover.then climate changes. Good roads with rains nothing as dangerous.the rain doesnt dampen our spirit. wE joked we sang we were so happy, what we never knew was that a truck had broken down and there was another truck that was overtaking and that it would be there to meet us at the curve on the wrong side.
At quater past one in the drivers seat as we take the curve I get a shock 2 lane road with 4 lights from 2 container trailers right ahead. my friend and co driver nidhil calls out my name. In a split second 3 things come to my mind death, brake and about nidhil.The first sight gives me the impression that we are dead but the better part of my brain sends reflexes that makes me push the brake but the slippery roads. Even after full braking the car slips towards the centre of the container trailer the fear of something happening to him suddenly makes me turn the car and the left side of the car collide with the trailer and leaves behind no major casualities except a torn finger capsule with congestion .Iybus thumb is elasto plastered with restriction in mobility and a badly damaged car.So we cancel GOa and back home with a car in a bad shape.Well, everything happens for the best. THIS TOO.....
MY SECOND LIFE

Sunday, May 25, 2008

Docteur Finally


The news that we cleared final MB brought us lot of joy finally we called ourselves doc. All of a sudden a heavy prefix. From now on I am DR.Joseph. Thought of posting a letter home with Dr.Joseph on it but later dropped the idea. We had better things to do meet our teachers express our gratitude, went to car company as docs were they welcomed us to take test drives unlike earlier,also in my agenda was find a great hospital to start my clinical life. It had always been a childhood dream to work at atappadi one of the remotest places in kerala and i live that dream too.

Sunday, May 4, 2008

Simple Mens Hospital

It looked as though boredom has become a part of my life when I planned to return from dubai to my homeland to gods own country. After coming back here too i didnt have pretty much to do. Contacted all my frnds at college, some were just like me killin time some others joined hospitals, a few travelled places, all ate and slept well and became heavier. Talkin to others i decided to go to a mission hospital in tamilnadu and work...So we got into a group of 4 left in my car at around 12 and 8 hrs later we find ourselves in Christian fellowship hospital in a small town near dindigal thanks to the great roads as soon as we enter TN (hats off). We get heavy showers on the way which was rare in TN. aS soon as we cross borders we find the good roads, people more simple in the way they dress, travel (mostly in mopeds).
AS soon as we reach the hospital there is a heavy downpour with thunder and lightening and leave us in darkness. Oh what a start. The hospital lacks the grandeur of the majority of hospitals i have visited. Since we arive earlier we dont meet the doc who we r supposed to instead we meet a young chap of our age. he was managing the casuality a very helpful guy, tells us abt the mass and quickly send us a guy perumal who was very polite with us took us to a grand stay at their guest house we had a sumptous dinner of TN dosai which i would say is one of the best with different coloured chuttneys.We go back get a tight sleep next day early mornin after a good breakfast go for the mass everyone seems to know that we have arrived, lovely people, from professors to the priest comes and meet us.
We are posted in surgery. We find patients here are less concerned about their health due to poverty and this hospital does a great deal of service for them. Patients here can pay what they can afford to, operations come to around 10% of what is being charged outside in bigger hospitals. Due to the ignorance abt their health most of the patients are in a bad shape we find 10 to 15 dibetic pts without limbs above knee, below knee amputations.Doctor jokes that they are not terminators and they never were; such simple hearted people without any self interest and really dedicated.A lot to learn from them.Unfortunately our kind university gave us only a day to work. we had to come back and collect a pass certificate.